I feel like my season of life is all about trying to balance everything....I mean how do you potty train a 2 year old, feed an infant every 3-4 hours, keep on top of housework, work with a special needs 7 year old, keep up with friends, and try to lose 30 pounds...haha, that is my life! It is exhausting just writing about it!
I am learning to just take one moment at a time and give it all to the LORD...if I get too far ahead of myself I feel anxious and stressed. I have lived life that way in the past (and still struggle with those things at times), and it is not fun because it paralyzes me. I am also learning to let things go, and to not be so hard on myself. There are days I fail miserably...I fail my kids, my husband and myself....and I am learning to give my weaknesses and bad days to HIM and to trust HIM in it all. After all, I am human and I can't do everything for everyone. I sometimes yell at my kids (ok more then sometimes), I lose my patience, I get uptight with my husband, I spend too much money on groceries....but these are all reminders that I need HIM more then ever. AND, it is a good opportunity to apologize to my kiddos and let them see that I am not perfect (not that they think I am..haha). =)
Some of the things I am really trying to focus on this week are:
TIME FOR ME:
Spending time in Devo's each morning, running every day.
TIME WITH KIDS:
Continuing to work on personal space with Kman and reading with him more at night.
I really want to spend time finger painting with JJ this week...he loves it and I don't let him do it much, because it is soo messy...but this week I want to make time for the mess. ALSO, starting the process of potty training!
Cuddling and loving on K-baby!
TIME WITH HUBBY:
I want to make dinner a few times this week. I know it means a lot to Mark.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Challenge for this week:
If you come to my house you will often here these things said:
"Kman, stop touching your brother."
"Kman, sit."
"Kman, stop touching your brother."
"Kman, don't get into your Dad's space."
Repeat about 1000 times....
SO, our challenge as parents this week is teaching Kman about personal space. This is a challenge as he is a lover and loves to cuddle...it is how he feels loved too. SO, how do you teach him to be himself, but also teach him boundaries...it is very difficult. We can not teach him by using words and explaining it to him...which we have tried, it simply doesn't work.
OUR STRATEGY:
Today I cut up a towel and labeled one for Kman and one for JJ. This is their personal space...so when they watch TV or are playing with trains on the floor if Kman touches JJ or JJ touches Kman then they are invading eachothers space. We are trying to show Kman the appropriate space that people really need (and in other cultures it is different, in some cultures it is acceptable to be much closer).
So far it has worked ...Kman has watched a show on his "space". Everytime he got of it, he had to turn the TV off for 10 minutes...it took awhile for him to finish his 30 minute show. BUT, hopefully this strategy will help him see and learn how to give people space.
It is difficult as a parent to follow through...even when your children don't have special needs it is tiring...it is EXHAUSTING to implement these strategies and be faithful to follow through...but it is SOO important to....that is my challenge this week to not let exhaustion make me "lazy".....
"Kman, stop touching your brother."
"Kman, sit."
"Kman, stop touching your brother."
"Kman, don't get into your Dad's space."
Repeat about 1000 times....
SO, our challenge as parents this week is teaching Kman about personal space. This is a challenge as he is a lover and loves to cuddle...it is how he feels loved too. SO, how do you teach him to be himself, but also teach him boundaries...it is very difficult. We can not teach him by using words and explaining it to him...which we have tried, it simply doesn't work.
OUR STRATEGY:
Today I cut up a towel and labeled one for Kman and one for JJ. This is their personal space...so when they watch TV or are playing with trains on the floor if Kman touches JJ or JJ touches Kman then they are invading eachothers space. We are trying to show Kman the appropriate space that people really need (and in other cultures it is different, in some cultures it is acceptable to be much closer).
So far it has worked ...Kman has watched a show on his "space". Everytime he got of it, he had to turn the TV off for 10 minutes...it took awhile for him to finish his 30 minute show. BUT, hopefully this strategy will help him see and learn how to give people space.
It is difficult as a parent to follow through...even when your children don't have special needs it is tiring...it is EXHAUSTING to implement these strategies and be faithful to follow through...but it is SOO important to....that is my challenge this week to not let exhaustion make me "lazy".....
Life
I haven't blogged in so very long....with good reason. I have been busy with babies...God is so GOOD! We welcomed our little Kase into the world on November 16th 2012! I was so stressed about Kase's delivery because I had to have an emergency C-Section with Josiah (after 48 hrs of labor) and I didn't want to do that again...but, I didn't really want a C-Section either....so I decided not to make any decisions and just see what happened....AND, God totally worked out all the details. I was only in labor a total of 3 hours...a little different then the 48 hours with Josiah. It was so fast, I couldn't get an epidural or anything, which according to Mark I BEGGED for...haha, it is tough when you are in the middle of it and can't get relief!! BUT, I did it with HIS strength and Kase came out a big, beautiful, perfect little boy. We named him Kase Benjamin after my twin brother. So glad to have 3 boys!
Anyways, we have faced some challenges over the years first with infertility, and now with our oldest son Kman...I thought I may start blogging more about what I am learning about him and about "special needs" kids in general...and what I am learning about myself. I have had to give up so much control (apparently, I really like to be in control) ....and with Kman there is no control! Mark and I have been praying for years that the LORD would give us wisdom in dealing with Kman and of late we have gone to an amazing children's psychologist that has helped us tremendously. He has helped us understand our son, which we desperately want. We are committed to learning about him and learning how to parent him better. I have become much less judgemental through the process too....learning that as good as a parent as you try to be that there are some things that just are VERY difficult.
I'd like to first tell you about how great Kman is...he is super energetic, loving, affectionate, bright, loves to read and is good at it, loves to be with friends and family, loves to cuddle and loves his family so much as he says so like a million times a day! He is a JOY and a miracle and we are so thankful for the opportunity we have to love him!
Our Kman has a few different things going on in his body (which I may talk about in future blogs) and it has been enlightening to learn about it, and we continue to pray for guidance, wisdom, strength and grace. We know that with the LORD's help and intervention our son will grow, thrive and overcome...out hearts break that our 7 year old has some very big challenges in his life...but we also know that HE has a purpose and will help and bless us through the process.
I have felt VERY alone over the years, as I have felt that I couldn't talk to people about my son, or that I couldn't bring him places for fear of being judged....I am getting over it and learning to just LOVE him and am learning all the time how to better parent him.
SOOO...here is to our journey and I will share some of it with you...so that maybe you can understand other people a little better, or be less judgemental, or just be more educated on what it is like to live with someone with extra challenges....
Anyways, we have faced some challenges over the years first with infertility, and now with our oldest son Kman...I thought I may start blogging more about what I am learning about him and about "special needs" kids in general...and what I am learning about myself. I have had to give up so much control (apparently, I really like to be in control) ....and with Kman there is no control! Mark and I have been praying for years that the LORD would give us wisdom in dealing with Kman and of late we have gone to an amazing children's psychologist that has helped us tremendously. He has helped us understand our son, which we desperately want. We are committed to learning about him and learning how to parent him better. I have become much less judgemental through the process too....learning that as good as a parent as you try to be that there are some things that just are VERY difficult.
I'd like to first tell you about how great Kman is...he is super energetic, loving, affectionate, bright, loves to read and is good at it, loves to be with friends and family, loves to cuddle and loves his family so much as he says so like a million times a day! He is a JOY and a miracle and we are so thankful for the opportunity we have to love him!
Our Kman has a few different things going on in his body (which I may talk about in future blogs) and it has been enlightening to learn about it, and we continue to pray for guidance, wisdom, strength and grace. We know that with the LORD's help and intervention our son will grow, thrive and overcome...out hearts break that our 7 year old has some very big challenges in his life...but we also know that HE has a purpose and will help and bless us through the process.
I have felt VERY alone over the years, as I have felt that I couldn't talk to people about my son, or that I couldn't bring him places for fear of being judged....I am getting over it and learning to just LOVE him and am learning all the time how to better parent him.
SOOO...here is to our journey and I will share some of it with you...so that maybe you can understand other people a little better, or be less judgemental, or just be more educated on what it is like to live with someone with extra challenges....
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