No turning back....I registered for the Marathon!

Well, there is no turning back...I registered for my marathon. It is October 4th...and after another long run of 18 miles I think I am gonna be able to do it!
I am already thinking about what I will do when my training is over...it has taken soo many hours each week to train. It has felt amazing....for so many reasons. Running/training has helped me in my grief and depression, it has helped me draw nearer to the Lord, it has made me feel more like myself than I have in a long time, given me more energy and helped me be a better wife and mom...and the icing on the cake...I have lost 25 pounds!
Anyways, can't wait to cross the finish line...I will post pictures after the race...I probably won't blog before my marathon...I have one more intense week of training and then I will taper, but have a lot to do these next few weeks!

Marathon Update.

So, I ran my longest run to date yesterday....18 miles. It was supposed to be a 20 mile run, but I stopped at 18 to get a freezy pop and when I tried to start running again, my body was like "I don't think so." I ran with a running group from Rochester and they don't stop for anyone...fortunately I was near where my brother lives and he came and picked me up. My whole body hurt, literally. I had several blisters, and lots of chafing! BUT...I did it...only two more long runs before the big day (October 4th). It was a gorgeous run...mostly on the Erie Canal. You know you are running a long way when you run through several towns! As sore as I was, it felt so great....mentally. I don't know why but it has always been a goal of mine to run in a marathon....and I am getting closer and closer to that goal.

A lot of other things have been keeping me busy too. Getting Kman ready for school, trying to find a job, having garage sales...and more.

I am still recovering from the run...I am sooo tired and hungry....so that is all I am gonna write for now so I can go eat more!! =)

More Summer Fun.

I have been super busy this summer. I have been running a ton....I ran in the Utica Boilermaker last weekend (15K) and is was such a fun, fun race. I ran with a friend and we went the night before and made it a girl weekend. It was really relaxing and fun. I ran pretty good too. I did it in 1 hour and 28 minutes....my goal was to do it under an hour and a half so I met my goal!! It was a decent size race too, about 12,000 people. It took me 9 minutes just to get to the starting line! I also ran my longest run thus far on Sunday.....16 miles. I did it in 2 hours and 40 minutes. I felt pretty good running, but my knees killed Sunday night...I think next time I will take advil before I run. I have 3 more long runs before my marathon on September 13th...I think I can do it!!! It has been hard to train, but hope it will be worth it in the end.
(My friend and I at the Boilermaker 15K)
We have family in town this week and it always so great to see family! Kman LOVES playing with his big cousins! Kman also started swim lessons. I am so proud of him. He is doing so well. He has listened very well to his instructors. I told him I was proud of him and he said...."but Mommy, I was so scared!" I told him that he was brave!



In other news...Kman has ALWAYS given us a VERY, VERY HARD time with his haircuts and we decided with an older cousin here we would take him to a hair salon and maybe with the influence of a big cousin he would get his hair cut without a fight....and he did!!!! Seriously, that was such an answer to prayer!!! Next time I want him to get a more stylish hair cut instead of just a buzz. I'd like him to have more hair on top and shorter on the sides...do you think that would look cute? I am not always sure how to do his hair.....but, for now it is shaved off and we won't have to do anything to it for a few months!! Praise the Lord.

Summer Fun

We went to an amusement last week with out of town family and it was a BLAST. I could not believe how much Kman loved the rides. He could ride a lot of the adult rides as long as he rode with an adult. He rode the "popcorn" and the "sleigh-ride" and many more. HE LOVED IT. He even rode on the "Ferris Wheel" and "Pirate Ship" ( I thought he may be afraid, but he wasn't...he couldn't get enough). He had so much fun with his cousin E and he especially liked the water park! Anyways, I know there are a lot of pics but I had to share how much fun he has had this summer so far!


He thought this ride was too slow! Especially after riding some of the bigger rides!
My little niece is such a sweetie, and I love the way she is looking at Kman.


There were a lot of kiddie rides too...these rides were perfect for M (he is not much of a ride person);)

Fun in our back yard on the slip and slide.

We hope to do a lot more this summer...I am taking full advantage of not working. Fall comes all too quickly...and hopefully I will have some sort of job in a school come September!

Happy after a LONG run!

Well, I ran my longest run thus far...14 miles. It actually felt pretty good....although I am not a fan of roosters pecking my ankles as I run....or dogs chasing me through the road (both of which happened today!). Anyways, 14 miles is more than half way there....YAY!!!! Next week 16 miles.

Random

I haven't posted about running in awhile, but I am running a lot. I am finished with school for the summer, yeah! Kman said the other day "It summer time Mommy, that means I get to stay home all day with you!!" I am so happy to be home and have NO work this summer!

It has been hard finding time to get my runs in. I wish I could just get up early in the morning and run, but it is so hard for me to get up! I set my alarm every morning but then press snooze so many times that I don' t have time for a run! I know if I just made myself do it for a while it would be second nature to get up early.....anyone have any motivation tactics to run in the morning??

Last week as an "easy" week of running, which I really needed. I had run 12 miles the week before and it kicked my butt. I was so dehydrated (i forgot my water pack) and my body did not cooperate at all. For the first time I thought, oh man, am I gonna be able to do this?? So, I don't know, but I am gonna keep trying!! I am going to run 12 again tomorrow....hopefully it will go better. I researched the importance of nutrition when running so much, so hopefully that will help!

I have two races coming up. I am running the a five mile on the 4th of July and then I am running a 15K July 12th. So, it is good to have races to look forward to and to help motivate!

I have family in town this week and it is great....but, it is also bittersweet. It is so different without Ben here. He always brought so many laughs and he played with the kids a lot and loved to play games and be crazy. I think we all are feeling the loss a lot now, especially when we are together.

I watched his testimony last night. He gave it at a church several years ago. He spoke about GRACE and about his addictions too....it was a powerful testimony. I cried the whole time watching it and have such a headache this morning. Watching it made me realize how hard it is for some people-dealing with addictions. Ben love the LORD so much, which was so evident in his testimony. Watching it also made me sooo mad at the enemy....the way he torments people....and destroys their lives. I know God is Good and in the end...Ben had/has victory in Christ.

3 months

Today, 3 months ago my life changed forever. It has been a rough weekend....grief is just so unpredictable. Honestly, I haven't had much time to grieve...I feel like I am like a chicken with my head cut off. It has been so busy. I have been working full time (teaching and daycare), running like crazy, training/disciplining Kman, going to all Mark's baseball games....etc. I think grief catches up to you though....and it has this weekend. I just really miss Ben, plain and simple. At times, it seems so hard...I am a twin and it seems so unfair that I am here without him. I understand the reality that he is in a better place and someday I will be there too....but, sometimes in the day to day it seems unfair.
Three months ago he was still alive (he passed on the 6th a little before 9pm)....being kept alive I should say. My mom and I were talking today and saying that he could potentially still be alive....it was the hardest and yet the easiest decision of our lives. Hard to be selfless and say goodbye and make the choice to take him off life suport but easy in the sense that we knew we would be delaying his encounter with our Saviour if we kept him on life support. I replay that moment over and over, and at times I hear myself saying "did i really watch my brother die?" "did it really happen?". I don't want to go back and relive those times, however, I often replay it in my head....I don't know why, I just do. I think partly because it keeps me connected to Ben in a way....
I can't remember if I already posted about the last moments of Ben's life....but, when we knew he wasn't with us anymore all I could do was picture his passionate self running arms open to the Lord....and his struggles were/are over....I repeated to him "you made it Ben, I am so proud of you". I am so proud of my brother-he has taught me so much...and I am sorry it took his death for me to realize the impact he had on my life. Ben was so loved, and he loved so. I want to remember all the good times I had with him...and that is what I am doing today....and I miss him.